in my mind

i was pretending all the time in front of her.
no, actually, i was pretending in front of everyone.
i'm not good at showing my friends my weakness.
i don't know why, but i juts don't like to show my weakness.
i didn't ask somebody advise.
i just kept everything in my mind.
so, no body knew how i felt at that time, but one.
only she knew how i felt.
maybe she didn't know how i felt.
i assume that she knew i liked her, but she didn't know how i felt whenever i saw her.
what she knew was i liked her.
but probably she also pretended that she had known nothing.
so, we were "friends".

there were so many things in my mind.
i almost lost my caonfident.
i told her how i felt long time ago, but i got nothing from her.
did she forget what i said?
did she forget what she told me?
does she pretend i'm her friend because she feels pity to me?
does she hate me in fact...?
does she know me...?
does she know who i am...?

i have never got the answers for these questions.
i was just thinking.
but there was no way i feel better.
what i could do is just hide my emotions and pretend i'm okay.
and i'm good friend of hers.

as a friend

scine she came back, we hung out a lot.
we had time till school started, so we went to watch movies, shopping, and taking a walk together.
it was very happy time for me.
i saw her almost everyday till our school started.
i don't remember why we hung out so often, but i remembered that the time i spent with her was like dream.
we had really good time.

then school started.
even though our school started, we saw very often.
because we went to same school and school was not big.
so, if i was studying at library or whereever, i met her.
and we hung out too!
sometimes just me and her.
sometimes, our friends were there.
either way, we were very good friend.
yes, just friend...