problem??!!

i've tried to update. however, i could not write anything !!
i don't know why i couldn't...
was it an internet problem?
or was my computer broken?
i try to write as often as i can, but it happens everytime...?!
actually, i tried 5 times to update this.
i need to figure out what was was the problem, but i can't even guess what was the cause...
i hope i can update without any problems again-_-b
i wish i knew about computer more than i do !
maybe it's time to study about computer lol
at least, i should be gald that it is working now !!

seeing her again

finally she came back to canada and i could see her. i was really glad to see her. i was thinking what i should say first, but i could not say anything when i saw her and she asked me “how are you?”. she looked really tired. of course, she was because she just came back to canada from korea last night. she did not have enough rest. but she came to see me. i was really glad to see her. but i realized that she did not want to talk about us, i mean the feeling i have to her. she was avoiding that topic while she was with me…

she went home without telling me anything what she thought. my hard days was not over… i was going back to japan 2 weeks later she came back, so i wanted to see her as much as i can. i asked to see her, but she refused every time. everytime she refused, i felt she was making excuses and tried not to see me.

one day i had a day too see her. i thought i was the last chance to tell her my feeling to her. but she stopped me to talking about that. i had to go back to japan without telling her… and of course, she did not say anything about that. she did not accept me. she did not even say “no”.

i was really confused by her reaction... i thought she would tell me if she would date me or not.

telling her

i told her how i felt about her honestly. it seemed that she was confused about that. she asked me the weather where ailive, but that was the question she had never asked me. and that was last time to ask me the weather.

she said that she would give me answer when she came back to Canada. so, i just waited for her coming back to canada. till she came back, i felt like time had not gone by at all. i felt one hour was like one day. because i was bored, i had lots of time to think of her. maybe it was not good thing. i could not sleep well. i just got 2 or 3 hours sleep. but i could chat with her more than before because of this. the more i chatted with her, the more i liked her. i was completely crazy for her already. i couldn’t wait for her coming back.

but the hardest thing happened before she came back. she told me her secret i did not know. the secret was pretty shocking for me. i had presentation 2 days later, but i could not prepare for it at all. i did not want to do anything. i did not even want to think anything. but i just kept thinking of her… i almost gave up on her, but i couldn’t. even though her secret was hard for me to take, i could not give up. i just waited for her coming back like nothing happened. the days i waited for her were pretty hard for me.

a happy new year

2008 is here now.
too many things happened to me last year.
i smiled a lot. i cried a lot.
i don't know what will happen this year.
i hope it will be wonderful year for me.
also for you guys.

i started this blog this year, but i could not update oftten.
i will try to update as often as i can. i might take break sometimes, but i want to finish writing my story. i hope you keep reading this and enjoy.

i might try to write something else too. of course, i will keep writing about the story, but you might be sick of the story sometimes. so, i might write something different.
you shouldn't expect me to do it. this is what i am thinking now. it doesn't mean i will do it, ok?

anyway, thank you for visiting my blog!!
hope you keep visiting me!!

a happy new year!!!!!!!!!